Sunday, 5 May 2013

I Have Been Living With HIV Since I Was 17_by silent blogger

I Have Been Living With HIV Since I Was 17

April 25, 2013 by  @justcurious.com 
I am a silent blogger.
This topic “Why I Test” touched me as I have been living with HIV since I was 17, I’m turning 30 today.
You know the reality as I have experienced since I knew my status is that men do not want to test, let alone use a condom since they tend to diagnose you by just looking. . . ignorant yes but it still happens in 2013.
Most people have in their subconscious mind a face for HIV and when as a woman you are not it, they tend to think they are safe . I have been told ” Yho awusemhle ndingakutowna ndifuna ukumithisa” by people who don’t even know me.
There have been instances where I’ve disclosed and then men think I’m trying to play hard to get or rejecting them so the sad reality is that a lot of men out there think HIV is not for them.
For women it even worse because as much as we can talk about it in the public arena and claim “no glove, no love” amadoda still dominate most relationships. I have lost friends to HIV who claimed to have been using a condom as I am open to those close to me about my status since I do not wish them to be in my shoes, but sadly behind closed doors no one knows what really happens. Every year I have two or more people who will confess their newly found relationship with HIV so in my view, no amount of awareness campaigns can ever save them. It’s worse now kuba you find married men openly having affairs willy nilly and it has somehow become acceptable. Most wives bathi as long as ndingayazi but I hate to tell them that husbands are worse as they don’t use a condom in their homes so are not comfortable using it even outside .

Bafazi I want to warn you uba it’s better to be alone and broke and happy than to be married, moneyed and sick kuba some women will stay noba indoda iyajola for the comfort.
A lot of us women don’t have standards because we don’t want to be alone but please consider you kids when taking into account the extra mural activities of your men and please make the right choices.
Xana indoda icheata rather use a condom or leave the relationship because you will end up being a statistic and leave your kids behind.
I have managed to live with HIV for 13 years because I made sure that I don’t want to pass it on to others and I would rather change amadoda or be lonely than to nyamezela ububhanxa.
I have a good job, 1 child (she’s 5 and negative) and only started taking meds last year so to others living with HIV its doable.

Has it been easy?. . . Its been difficult because people are cruel but you learn to live with the rejection and get on with your life because awuzalwanga nendoda or necherry so being alone is acceptable and HIV is not you. Pity that there are people who see HIV before they acknowledge you as a person but the world is like that.
Do I hope to find love? Someday and if its meant to happen it will feel right and not make me feel less of a person and the love I hope to find will not hurt
Do I have plans for the future? Yes I will retire and travel the world, see my grandkids and watch the sunrise from my farm one day.
Do I have hope and faith? Praying and hope keeps me going because without then I may as well just drink poison and die.
So to those who are still negative I would suggest that you assume even your husbands as positive as there is no way you can trust another person when it comes to your life and ngekhe uyazi uba umntu ucinga ntoni.
How did I get infected? I was young and stupid but I don’t blame anyone as the end of the day you are responsible for yourself so this is my reality.
The last 13 years have been an eye opener and it has made me realise how people are and made me appreciate life each day and thank God that I am even able to send this email as there is no greater miracle that I can ever wish for and whatever I have more than what I have been blessed with is a bonus.
Yes HIV is real so guys look after yourselves and trust no one.
By Silent Blogger
story from; www.justcurious.com

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50 comments:

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  2. I am so touched hey and I am thankful to your advice and everything u said is so true that's how men are outside this world of us

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  3. Wow this is so sad and u are Blessed coz u are able to express ur status,u are brave...thank you for doing that

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  4. is it true dat Sindi is HIV Positive?

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  5. i'm not a soapie fan but when i happen to be watching a soapie i prefered watching Muvhangu because of Thandaza, i just like the way she is so calm in every situation and it had made me wonder how she was in real life but i didnt know she was HIV positive all along and now that i know , it makes me to love her even more.May the good LORD make your wishes come true of seeing your grand-children grow up.God bless u.

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  6. That's Not Thandaza! Sindi is not 30 and does not have a child. She is married to the same guy for 16 years!

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  7. Wow wat a brave person you are anonymous blogger im so glad to knw dat thy r pple out da hu want to protect adas frm dis diseas anyway thnkz a lot hey u' ve made my day god bless u # b blessed#

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  8. Touchy, I like it when you say you have lived with HIV for 13years because you do not want to pass it on to others. If you dont mind would you share with me how you got a child ?Did you get it in the other way, I mean unnaturally?
    Thank you

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  9. Wow its a great story to share dear. And a great eye opener. Hope we can learn
    and b careful whether HIV positive or negative.

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  10. Hlv is a spiritual thing go 2 a living church they will cast out the demon in you that coz u 2 be hlv.

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  11. Wow! Gorhakazi ndini! Mandla akapheli ngenxa yezilingo! Thnx cc wam ngamazwi obulumko, ukuthi our lives depends on us our choices as women. Ey! Nkosi yam! Thnx again

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  12. kanjani kodwa eHIV positive for 13yrs abe nengane ena 5yrs kusho kuthi ulale without condom kodwa esazi istatus sakhe

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    1. Maybe the condom broke during sex n there are less chances for her partner to get infected

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  13. Thandaza aks Sindi Dhlatu does not have HVI. Thandaza does not have a child and she is 37 years old this year. she is married for 16 years now. The heading says by a silent blogger

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  14. are you guys shitting
    .. dis is creep

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  15. thanks a lot ,your words are so powerful , you know what you are such a very strong lady yhoo my god bless you may he guide you and prosper you and lead you up to the very day of your life .amaqhawe asiweva ngabantu siwabona ngokuthetha nangezenzo ,qina gorhakazindini !wathinta'bafazi wathintimbokodo ........ we really need people like you in this world .wayeithi usathana unqobile not knowing that asikhoisiskhali esibekelwe abangcwele esiyophumelela ,yibambe apho ungayeki.!

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  16. this is powerful..men still bielieve big women are HIV free. yes now in 2015.
    thanks for the courage dear, you are strong and brve..stay blessed

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  17. Thank you for an eye opening article it really inspires as I've been diagnosed 4 years ago.HIV is alive and kills,people think being HIV means you've been sleeping around and yet that's not true ever since my family knows about it they have been distant but I don't let that get to me.my kids are my friends and what I live for and I love them

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  18. You are such an inspiration woman of God. Thank you for sharing. I have been diagnosed with hiv 2 years ago but that did not make me wanna kill myself instead I became strong and could only tell a friend till today, no one knows about it even my family. I have a 10 year old daughter and she is negative. People it is very important to take medication everyday and use protection always. I am in a relationship currently and my fiancé knows about my status and still loves me the way l am. Up to so far I leave a normal life and no one can tell l am hiv. I keep on progressing like everyone else and have hope and dreams.

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  19. I am so inspired

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  20. I don't think sindi is HIV,because all this things I said by silent blogger not sindiswa.But if she is really HIV thank u 4 yo brave to tell yo status and also 4 de comfortable words,God bless u

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  21. Kodwa nathi abafazi we are cruel to each other. Some women knowingly date married men, have unprotected sex with them 4 the love of money. True, condoms are foreign to most married men coz they don't use them endlini. On the other hand, their mistresses have other boyfriends or sleeping partners with whom they dont condomize perhaps hoping 2 start a family. That's one way of spreading HIV fast.

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  22. wow thanks for the wise words u make me even stronger ey

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  23. This is very powerfull I ve been diognised with HIV 3years ago and I've became in denial at first for a year but later I accepted it and Im living with depression co I struggle to keep my cd4 up bit I'm very healthy and I just checked my cd4 was 460 and they advising me to being medication but I'm not ready I wanna take them when at least it 350 I'm only 24years old I have a 6year old healthy boy negetive and I've been very stressed latety I slept with a married guy a month ago without a condom I always protect my self but this time he took the condom out without me noticing I became co scared knowing my status and I can't live with my self knowing that I infected a one onother person not worse he is maried and I told him that he should take p.e.p anti virus he said no he is clean the is no need unless I know Im not clean I was so scared not ready to tell him following day took me to his doctor for me to come he is clean he tested infront of me n I fogded my result sent him a someone else's result with my nameI regret it and Im scared don't know how to tell him Im scared can't live with my self knowing that I did what I did after protecting all the guys I've been with for so long plz help should I tell him the truth no he once said that if I ever by mistake gets infected by someone while they know will kill that person not kill himself worse he has a 1year old child

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    1. Well he has a wife and a child, he should have thought about that before sleeping with you first, then he goes and removes the condom which means this is what he does out there, but I feel sorry for his wife as she is most probably infected by now you really should have told him immediately to protect his wife and perhaps he could have taken pills to dilute too.

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  24. Wow tnx alot wasivula amehlo ethu

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  25. Tank you for your wise words beautiful angel, but I would also like to tell you that HIV is not a death sentence. You're still going to live a healthy normal life just like anyone else in the world as long as you known how to take care of your self God will never forsake you. May God bless you with many many years to come.

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  26. WTF I wanted to know about Sindi aka Thandaza....not some fool feeling pity for themselves we all damn are HIV

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  27. Well sindi has been living with HIV for a long time .so that's you beloved thandaza

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  28. I love you sindi

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  29. Thanks sindi u are such a brave woman um bcmng to luv u more yo status doesn't mean anything to me luv u

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  30. Woooow tnx God u accepted wat u are, and tnx For advice I wish everybody could see dis advice of u. Am working at lovelife, wen we advice people to take care of their self its seems like a nothing to people and its really about HIV. I thank u so much I love sister thandaza so much I always watch muvhango because of her if can happen that she's no longer acting their. I will never watch it, am a supporter their because of her.. Nothing can stop me loving this woman Thandaza.

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  31. sind does not have HIV

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  32. http://joblink.xyz/?cashid=71748

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  33. hahahhahaha thus a lie sindie doesnt have a child how come she has got child now this information is not true

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  34. Jah hey DAT is tru.I've been living with HIV since 2003 BT still survive always thanks God for taking care of me.

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  35. Being HIV positive doesn't mean you were not taking good care of you self before the infection. Stick to the medication that you've been given ezizokuya ebantwini uclaim that they have a cure kukuzilibazisa nje qha. Let's rather pray that the students finds the cure since they are working on it

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  36. I am negative but I came close being positive because I wanted to get a husband out of desperation. Guys I have come to realise that health is far better than unworthy husbands. these men are drunkards, futureless, losers but we chase them any way. Lets accept what we are and what we have. Man is nothing but trousers and brainless sex addicts.

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  37. SINDI DLATHU IS NOT HIV POSITIVE, GET UR FACTS RIGHT, THE PERSON WHO WROTE THIS BLOG IS NOT SINDI

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  38. If Sundiswa was HIV positive...how would you have known because she has got a private life off the screens. Tlogelang go phapha guys.

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  39. Thank you for this powerful story. I'm hiv positive and had sex with the one guy I've loved recently, the condom broke and I had to tell him that I'm stressed since I'm positive. He didn't believe me at first then I told him I'm not joking so straight out of bed he went to shower and looked at me with disgust. I didn't even know what to say or how to feel at the moment and then he left. I slept for like 30 mins then woke up and cried like never before, I was devastated I didn't know who to contact coz I was feeling blue. He said I should have told him before we had sex but I didn't know how to break it to him. He's not talking to me at the moment but I pray that he's negative and never see him again. I still love him though. So may God bless all the victims and stay by their side as He's by mine as I haven't overdosed these sleeping pills on the table. I'm a christian,sister,student living away from home in residence and right now I feel like the heavens have sent a group of angels to look after me, I'm saying this because I haven't done anything stupid. Not having support when you need it is the worst but it's the best when you get to share your piece with people who get you and won't judge. God bless us all.

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  41. Powerful and inspiring.. Thank you guys for sharing your stories.I am also living with the virus Since 2005. Am trying all my best to live a healthy lifestyle.

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  42. I am still surprize that there are stupid people who thinks AIDS is a spiritual thing and can be cust out with prayer after been infected. I am sure God is looking down on you and say arg shane,, a pastor killed an AIDS infected person recently by treating her in his house with salt water, told her no more treatment from doctors the spirit will heal her. Dumpsturs liers, cheaters, i hate you if u will lie using God as a front of your lies, to all infected with the deseas stay blessed, God still loves you amd we still love you, no one knows ikusasa laakhe, even the ones who are making fun of this blog...

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  43. My prayers to everyone who is going through a hard time ...

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  44. My prayers to everyone who is going through a hard time ...

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  45. You never know ... Life is precious cherish it
    It's kinda hard to accept that you're sick.. Hiv is not the problem .. The problem is people how they treat each other... And somehow hiv could be demonic as we see people loosing it but that does not mean you can heal it by praying .. Just to get your soul good with God plus medication life proceed

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  46. Thanks for the positive message. Many ppl dont knw their status, as for analysing, many a guy analyse a lady status by merely lookin at, but it happens mostly when 1 have taken some beers. anyhow thanks

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